Perspective

"Can we please fast forward two months?

Our high school senior uttered these words earlier today—day four of our family’s quarantine. In an effort to keep things in perspective, I reminded her about the homeless, those living in cramped spaces, losing jobs, or worse, a loved one.

This morning, however, insomnia took me on a global voyage before settling upon our home and, ultimately, on our very social daughter, for whom this lockdown has been the most difficult. The perspective I usually try to maintain was eclipsed by the gnawing voice that summoned me in the wee hours of dawn’s peace to quietly exit my room and snuggle up to her, hoping to provide an ounce of comfort.

Not only has this time kept her from seeing her first-ever boyfriend, but she is also distressed about her school closure and the fact that as a high school senior, it became increasingly likely she would miss out on prom and graduation. Despite her 3.97 GPA and nearly five times the required number of volunteer hours for graduation, she was rejected by nearly all the in-state universities to which she applied.

My child is unique. At five, she handled injured bees on our terrace until they flew away. She insisted on grooming her own horse during competitions and possesses a magnetic, compassionate heart. I once overheard a friend ask her, “How do you meet someone and uncover their life story in ten minutes flat?” Her peers, some of whom have faced profound loss or serious illness, find solace in her empathy. We see it, her friends see it, and we’re fortunate to have her in our lives. Thus, her isolation from friends soon heading to college went against her natural disposition.

She felt broken.

I’m grateful for the realization that her struggles weren’t about entitlement but about a challenge to her very identity. We strive to raise resilient children and hope she will navigate this difficult period—whether gracefully or not—while we offer the comfort she needs.

May we understand each other and our children fully so that we can offer encouragement and support, even if that means sending “Perspective” out the door. We can always let it back in tomorrow.

 

First published on Designs by Alina Lifestyle blog
March 18, 2020
Photo: Bernardo de Albergaria

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