Unbidden

Early morning.
White robe. Tears. Confusion.
The horror of it.
The second Twin Tower collapses on live television.
Was it a replay? 

The Regency Hotel, New York.
My fellow reporters and I glued to the television set in the hospitality suite.
An eerie disquiet floats.
Like an osprey upon its prey, the words “not guilty” descend on us.
A collective gasp breaks the silence.
Orenthal James Simpson is a free man.

I ride the wave that is the living room floor of my L.A. apartment, a glass-half-full attitude presiding.
The words “at least I will die happy” leave my lips as I am shaken into submission unaware that a few years down the road I would be staring “happy” in the face with a generous dose of gratitude.
Meet the Sierra Madre earthquake.

A Range Rover cradled by the ocean.
Pristine streets turned filthy swamps of terror.
Naked estates begging for cover.
Mother Nature’s muddy wrath brings our community to its knees.
And yet no amount of shock, disbelief, or grief manages to tarnish the underpinnings of our city’s unity and strength, qualities the city on Santa Barbara carries with her tenfold to this day.
Meet the Montecito mudslides.

The ease with which those memories can be summoned to mind astounds me. Not so with the coronavirus pandemic. On the heels of the impeachment trial and presidential primaries, our deeply divided country is on the verge of being held hostage to a world calamity, ubiquitous emotions clashing with mental images of before and after clamoring to be seen.

The last time I hugged a friend was in our garden on Saturday, March 14. We had just video bombed our daughters’ recording, a moment frozen in time, the one I keep close to my heart. This is my last before. Try as I might to conjure up an image of what might lie ahead is increasingly futile. A pathogen directive implores us to reassess our priorities which are forever changed.

Thankfully, the technology we are keen to keep away from our children has become an essential part of our new normal. As I write I am cognizant of the fact that there is no shortage of content. Never before had I seen so many Facebook posts and text notifications alerting me to the voices of fellow quarantine warriors. We receive tidings of everything from politics as they relate to the virus to memes of a now-defunct porn star who could not have imagined just how famous he had become. I witnessed and experienced every possible emotion from anger to laughter, from melancholy to folly in the initial days of our quarantine. Two weeks later, our family has well adapted to our daily routines. As a friend, I have learned that in the absence of physical connections many of us find comfort in the virtual cocktail hour that modern technology offers, while others find strength in solitude. As a mother, I have employed both a firm hand approach and that of a protective lioness defending her cubs. I welcome each day as a challenge, a lesson learned, an opportunity to grow, and for those of us who have not succumbed to the virus, a battle won.

Will there be a single image we will summon to mind when the pandemic is laid to rest?

Alina de Albergaria
First published March 29, 2020
on Designs by Alina lifestyle blog
Family photo: Gold vs Black
Fountain photo: Alina de Albergaria