Perspective

"Can we please fast-forward two months?

These were the words our high school senior uttered on day four of our family’s quarantine. I reminded her about those who lived in cramped spaces, or alone, have lost their jobs -or worse, a loved one. And then, just as quickly, I reminded myself that all experiences are relative.

This morning insomnia took me on a global voyage before settling upon our home and ultimately on our very social daughter for whom this lockdown has been the most trying. The perspective I usually try to maintain was eclipsed by a different sort of clarity that summoned me at that very moment in the peace of dawn to leave my room and snuggle up to her.

Not only has the pandemic kept her from seeing the only boyfriend she has ever had, but she is struggling with her school closure and the fact that as a high school senior it is becoming increasingly likely that she will not experience her prom or graduation ceremony. Despite her 3.95 GPA and nearly five times the necessary number of volunteer hours required to graduate, she was rejected from all but her back-up university. So instead of moving on in service of her future, the lockdown has become a constant reminder of what might have been.

My child is a rare bird, one who has always called her own shots, one whose very essence is compromised by the idea of imposed isolation. At the age of five, much to our dismay, she handled injured bees on our terrace until they took flight -and never was stung, she also refused to have her horse groomed when partaking in equestrian competitions. I overheard a friend of hers ask: “How do you do it? How do you meet someone and ten minutes later you know their life story?” Her peers, some of whom have lost a parent, a sibling, or have been seriously ill, have found much solace in her compassionate demeanor. Coming to the aid of others is a calling for her; we know it, her friends know it, and we are all lucky to have her in our lives.

I am thankful for the lightbulb that went off this morning indicating that for her, this is not a case of entitlement but one of her identity being challenged. And as I ponder the many ways in which I might help her, I realize that sometimes, encouragement and support usurp the opportunity to impart a lesson. And if that means sending perspective out the door, so be it. We can always welcome it back tomorrow.

Alina de Albergaria
First published on Designs by Alina Lifestyle blog
March 18, 2020
Photo credits:
Above: Bernardo de Albergaria
Bahamas: Alina de Albergaria